Who ever said life was easy was way off. Life is hard, and this is my chance to let it out. I need space for me to learn new things about my self and in the process learn more about the prison inside my brain......
Okay, so I am going to try to keep myself in line for a couple of minutes to get it out! I absolutely hate the feeling of being in love. Being in love so much that it hurts! Okay, let me tell ya about it.
So, yes, I am gay! If thats a problem for you, you might as well stop reading. No, my being gay doesn't reflect on you, or have anythnig to do with you, it's me. I don't want to hear I'm going to go the hell and all that AIDS is for faggots shit, I've heard it, and piss off.... With that off my chest, back to the love thing. I've been seeig this guy for two months now, his name is Bryan. Two months may not seem like a long time, but for a gay relationship it is an eternity (and thats a shame actually!!). This boi is everything that I have been looking for: smart, goal driven, done playing the "game," and did i mention cute? He makes me smile when I think of him, blah, blah, blah. The only problem I am having is that he has been dicked over before by some other guys, and hence it is now me that has to deal with it. All the guys that have cheated on him and basically treated him like a dog have made him simply not trust me. He doesn't like any of my friends, and at times can be a pompus ass. I hate all of the people that he has dated because of this. His attitutde is put up because he doesn't want to be hurt again, understandable, right? Well, the problem that I have is that I didn't do it! All of the relationships that I have been in have ended very amicable (did i spell that right?). I have always been friends with the people that I have dated, any maybe thats odd, but I like it that way. I simply hate everyone out there that decided that hurting someone during in a relationshipi is okay. Well, it's fucking not. It't not fair to me because I don't treat people like shit! I could rant for hours about this, but I won't! I just don't know what to do. How do I help him out. How do I get him to trust me?? I know time will help that out, but it's so damn hard. It's hard trying to tell someone, "Look, I don't do that to people. I don't treat people like shit," when all they have ever been treated like is that! Oh well, that is why I am asking, Is this love, or simply a slow death wating to happen????
Comments
on Dec 29, 2003
hmm...sounds like a combination. Time really is the way into this guy's heart. If you don't screw him over, he might not know how to deal with you at all, and as horrible as it sounds, he might not want to be with you if you can't/won't/don't hurt him. I was like him...I've been married 10 years now, and I still have a hard time trusting my husband, though he's never, ever given me cause to not to. Its something that doesn't go away for a long, long time. I guess if you love him and you see a future, you'll be understanding and supportive and conscious of the fact that it really, really isn't you...its him.
on Dec 29, 2003
Hey jerseyboi,
Thank you for posting. To heck with anyone that will respond and belittle you. From my point of view (married male) I see it as a trust issue. Bryan needs a little time to learn that he can and should trust you. The fact he doesn't care for your friends means you need to be together and create some new friendships - TOGETHER. Please don't forget your current friends, though. When Brian realizes you are there for him and always will be (if that's what you truly want), he'll let go of some of his hesitating behavior and allow you "in"...into his heart...into his head and into his life...FOR REAL. Best of luck to both of you.
on Dec 31, 2003
Hey there Jerseyboi, One thing for sure is, be patient with him. It takes time to get to know and trust someone. It may also be that he doesn't care for you as much as you do for him and he is only using this as an excuse. Therefore, it is important that you get to know him as well. Two months in any case is not near long enough for one to get to know another. I would take it one day at a time and step by step. Don't get your hopes up too high that you are the one to be hurt. When the right one comes along, you won't need to hop on JoeUser to ask others advice, you'll know it for yourself. GCJ